Teacher's Feedback on Draft

When looking back at my first draft for my film opening and comparing it to the mark scheme and the past film openings, I personally think that it is at a Level 2/Low level 3.

My teacher’s feedback for my draft was as follows:

Research and Planning: Level 4
Practical Draft: Low Level 3 (Just)

-        Add all titles – logo etc.

-        Shots work well. Exterior is kept to a minimum – child dialogue is quite good. Shot prior to boy entering house is way too long.

-        Interiors are good. Some aspects of the dark can work – especially when a fright (the masked figure) appears out of it.

-        Sound needs work – sense of doom needs to build – tension needs to increase throughout.

These changes I am already working on and I plan to try to include more transitions in order to make that aspect more creative. I also need to focus on an institution logo and how I can incorporate that into my opening.

Feedback - Script/Call Sheet

Mr Ford and myself have discussed the script and some of the aspects I have thought over in order for the audience to understand as much of the opening as they can. This is my improved script and I am going to use it when filming on Saturday:

This is also a call sheet that I have produced (using the Star Wars Call Sheet as a guide). It just includes all of the necessary requirements that I will need on set and I can use it as a checklist when gathering what I need:

Pitch Feedback/Development of Ideas

Originally, my idea was to have two teenagers being the ‘Hansel and Gretel’ personas. However, the feedback that I received has made me think about changing this aspect and aiming the plotline onto two younger siblings. This idea will hopefully make my film opening more successful because the horror genre is more effective when children are involved; because of the psychological aspect of the thought of children being hurt. My film introduction will not have any violence directly to children, but will include several shots ‘hinting’ to the audience that the male persona has been killed. I think that this might be more effective than actually being shown the male’s killing because the audience will have to use their imaginations to gain an image of this event.
   From the feedback, I need to consider the aspect above and also how I will achieve this ‘hinting’ technique to the audience. The comments overall were positive and I will take their opinions into consideration when planning/storyboarding the opening scene.